Road Warriors – The Badger

C’mon, Bernie, shows us that Badger face again. A series of quotes from everyone’s favorite French cyclist. Ya gotta love Bernard Hinault. That guy would fight anything. To the death. Not his. A very suitable nickname.

The Badger

“If I can breathe, I attack.”

or, maybe:

“Hmmm. Do I have enough croissants for morning? The Fignon’s are coming over and Laurent can be pretty ravenous. I think I’d better get some more. Yeah. That’d be smart. And some espresso. Definitely don’t forget the espresso. Check and check. Hmm, pate. Need pate. Ok, check. Oh, merde! The finish line – hey, I won! C’est bon!”


1984 Paris-Nice.

“I’m trying to win! Get the hell off the road!”


LeMond: “Ahh. Eeee. Eerrrr. Piano! Piano!”

Badger: “Fuck you, Lemon Meringue.”


Hinault: “Later, bitches! Ima get to the velodrome in Roubaix and have myself a shower.”

The Peleton: “Nooooooo….”


“You touch this beer…I’ll firickn’ kill ya. You look at me…I’ll frickkin’ kill ya. Actually, no matter what, I’ll pretty much frickkin’ kill ya.”


An impostor in full Francaise de Jeux kit got himself up on the stage of the 2000-and-something Tour.

“Not on my watch”, said the Badger.


Another impostor gets up on the podium stage at the Tour. The Badger, or maybe The Batman, sprang into action.

Hinault: “Yer dead.”

Impostor: “Oh sweet Jesus I hope that’s not Hinault. Ah hell, it is.”


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